Thursday, December 23, 2021

Holiday Films

Must be “the season”. 

Peloton has an inappropriate series of commercials, Hallmark released a whopping 35 holiday films and I can’t walk into a store without Christmas Muzak playing.  I watched through a good number of the newer offerings on the aforementioned Hallmark networks as well as on Lifetime, Netflix and Amazon Prime but I barely touched on the ones from other networks.  There were so many holiday films (almost exclusively filmed in Canada) that some of the same actors appeared in multiple movies. 

Let’s face it, none of these are going to be It’s a Wonderful Life or Miracle on 34th Street.  They are primarily designed for one thing … something to have on in the background to help get you in the mood while you are madly cleaning and decorating.  They all have predictable plots with sometimes iffy writing and/or acting.  They all have small towns and snow and a sugary meet-cutes.  There is enough hot chocolate and gingerbread to put one into a diabetic coma and often a contest of some sort.  There is also a manufactured crisis (usually involving some big evil corporate entity) which is miraculously solved on Christmas Eve.  Women are almost universally convinced ditch their big city corporate dreams and move back home.

Some of these are actually worth a couple of hours.  Some are not.  This year the best ones for me were the ones with known, experienced actors who managed to rise above the sugary sweetness to create a real moment here and there.   

Best of the Bunch

The Christmas House 2:  Deck Those Halls – I vaguely remember liking the first edition of this story a year ago, but, like so many of these tales, it didn’t really stick with me.  I have to say though, I can’t help but feel the latest installment is better than the first.  It’s a stellar cast and since we are past the “will they or won’t they” stage the tropes are left behind.  Instead we have a chance to truly explore the meaning of Christmas along with sibling rivalry, the challenges of parenthood and the impossible choices that come with blended families.  It’s good.  Really good. 

A Very Merry Bridesmaid – Emily Osmet and Casey Deidrick.  At their worst, these films feel forced and fake, as if they are just checking off items from a list of plot developments.  At their best, like this one, they feel real and grounded and have at least one or two story twists you may not see coming.  Admittedly, I like Emily Osmet, a lot, and Casey Deidrick ain’t bad either.  The whole cast is pretty good.  And yes, near the end I felt the slightest hint of a tear.  A real one, not one from being emotionally played.  Very entertaining.

Crashing Through the Snow – This one abandons every trope and focuses on the challenges which come with newly formed blended families.  It’s not tidy and it’s well acted (Hello Amy Acker!).  Brava, bravo.

Single All the Way – Michael Urie and Philemon Chambers.  Just like any other Christmas movie this one is tremendously watchable.  It’s also nuanced.  The love interests aren’t generally bad or good, just maybe one is better than another.  The mom wants to support her gay son but works so hard at it that she really doesn’t see him.  The crazy aunt is perhaps a sad alcoholic.  The teen girls, addicted to their phones, have some insight.  It is what you expect and not.  And I like that.

The Holiday Fix Up – Jana Kramer and Ryan McPartlin.  There is absolutely nothing original about this film but good writing, acting, even editing make it highly watchable.  With an HGTV twist and a fair amount of charm and chemistry, it works.

A Christmas Proposal – Jessica Camacho and Adam Rodriguez.  Pretty Woman allusions aside (there are more than a few) this is grounded by really decent actors – Ms. Camacho being a hugely watchable performer.  It suffers just a touch of The Sound of Music problem … Rodriguez is so convincing as a jerk that you really have to take a moment to buy into his transformation … but if you can make that leap it works.  And is just lovely.

“Princess Switch” movies – Vanessa Hudgens (and Vanessa Hudgens and Vanessa Hudgens).  This isn’t your typical holiday fare, more like a modernized Prince and the Pauper set at Christmastime.  They are light, fun, enjoyable and don’t take themselves to seriously.  Good popcorn movies. 

A Dickens of a Holiday! – Brooke D’Orsay and Kristoffer Polaha.  Here’s the truth – this is about a community theatre production and stars two actors I like a lot, one of whom I’ve had a crush on for a long (long) time.  So, I was always going to like it.  But I beyond all of that I do think this film has merit.  It’s not cute.  Not even a little.  Grounded and layered the script draws connections between Polaha’s superstar character and the isolation and emptiness of Scrooge’s life.  It’s smart and I wasn’t even tempted to look away.

An Unexpected Christmas – Bethany Joy Lenz and Tyler Hynes.  This one is actually well-written and plays just a little like some 1930s screwball comedy.  The dialog feels real.  Bethany Joy Lenz is well-named and just a pleasure to watch.  The family dynamics are both delightful and a bit torturous.  Like a normal family.  It works.

A Picture Perfect Holiday – Tatyana Ali and Henderson Wade.  Nothing particularly original here but it has, dare I say it – charm?  It’s fun.  The two leads do a great job batting the lines around with a kind of perfect tone.  It’s a playful tease with a lot more “I’m interested” than “I don’t like you.”  My only complaint is that it plays back on the theme so many of these films have, that hard-working women are inflexible and rigid and just need to get the hottie and loosen up. 

Reba McEntire’s Christmas in Tune – Reba McEntire and John Schneider.  ‘Nuff said.

Christmas Sail – Katee Sackoff and Patrick Sabongui.  Funny how you can have the same elements in dozens of films and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.  Strong actors, a slightly better script, a small twist here or there (this one takes place on a boat) and a predictable film is just less sappy and more grounded.  This one has all the strengths and few of the weaknesses of films of this type (and Terry O’Quinn doesn’t hurt, either).  There is sadness which seems pervasive in this year’s batch of holiday films but here it doesn’t take away from the hope.  Enjoyable watch.

Next Stop, ChristmasPolar Express meets Sliding Doors meets It’s a Wonderful Life in this clever holiday film.  Maybe you know where it’s going, maybe you don’t.  I really liked that it is fresh and Lyndsy Fonseca does a great job finding the balance between humor and going just a tad insane.  Terrific couple of hours.

Christmas at Castle Hart – Lacey Chabert and Stuart Townsend.  In a strange twist this film is almost identical to the new Netflix film A Castle for Christmas.  Both have great scenery of the actual locations, a grumpy nobleman, a castle in financial straits.  In both films our leads take bicycles to a local castle and end up with a private tour.  Weird.  And I swear, it’s not my heritage that says this film is better.  It’s just faster paced, has bigger stakes, more laughs and more energy.  It’s not perfect.  The age difference between the leads is palpable.  Ms. Chabert looks years younger than her 39 and Mr. Townsend looks every bit his almost 50 years.  And there is more than a little bad digitizing attempting to turn Ireland’s green into a snowy landscape.  That aside, it was very enjoyable.  I also can’t help but think that there were a few digs on the other film.  Ms. Chabert’s character makes asides about Scotland and knitting.  Maybe coincidence.  Maybe not.

The Bitch Who Stole Christmas – I truly don’t know where to begin.  Is it different?  Oh my, yes.  Refreshingly so.  Replete with naughty names, double-entendres, massive send-ups of Christmas films and meet-cutes this one left me smiling.  I had expected a longer version of some of the Drag Show skits.  Instead there was a real story and actual song and dance numbers, not to mention more than a few familiar faces.  It’s rude, crude, doesn’t take itself at all seriously and it’s a delightful change-up from the saccharin sop.

Decent

A Dance Reunion Christmas – Monique Coleman and Corbin Bleu.  This one would be a total loss based on every trope in the book, but the energy and downright charm of Ms. Coleman and Mr. Bleu allows it to exceed expectations (Kim Roberts as the mother isn’t bad either).  Unlike many of these films the scoring is thoughtful and adds to the narrative.  The dancing, and chemistry, is a delight.

The Christmas Contest – Candace Cameron Bure and John Brotherton.  Candace Cameron Bure is the undisputed queen of the Hallmark Christmas films and John Brotherton is just adorable.  There is nothing particularly original here but nothing cringeworthy.  I made for a nice hour and a half (if you speed through the commercials.)

Holiday in Santa Fe – Emeraude Toubia and Mario Lopez.  The least interesting part of this film is the so-called romance which includes every cliché in the book and a scary amount of Botox and filler on the face of Mr. Lopez.  The real story is that of the sister.  Aimee Garcia, fresh from Lucifer, steals the show with a storyline about finding oneself amidst grief.  She is energetic, joyful and very real.  She feels like a sister.  And the kid is cute, too.  Yes, you can make a holiday film without snow.  Brava, Ms. Garcia.

Sister Swap:  A Hometown Holiday and Sister Swap:  Christmas in the City – Kimberly Williams-Paisley and Mark Deklin, Ashley Willams and Keith D. Robinson.  Real-life sisters Kimberly and Ashley provide a nice grounding to these paired films with few new twists.  Keeping with the theme of sadness in this year’s films there are some losses but the grief resonates without saturating.  The supporting cast, which includes the likes of Kevin Nealon and Jim Byrnes in relatively small roles, is strong.  In the first film the cute kid is partnered with a teenager making the kid less sugary.  In the second film the gay couple saves the day.  There is a little déjà vu as scenes between the sisters are repeated in each film.  The first has better chemistry between leads, the second has a more interesting storyline (IMHO).  Feel free to play it in the background while doing Christmas cards, as I did.

You Make It Feel Like Christmas – Mary Antonini and Michael Xavier.  Some uneven acting and a touch of sadness don’t dampen a pretty good film which breaks up all the suppositions you might have in watching a so-called “Christmas movie”.  The story is fresh, the energy real.  Relationships are muddy and people spend a good deal of time thinking through things.  Really thinking through things, not just glancing at one another over a hot chocolate.  Brava, Bravo.

Baking Spirits Bright – Rekha Sharma and Dion Johnstone.  What I like about this … Ms. Sharma’s character is smart.  She is, unfortunately, a little harsh but she’s not wrong in sticking to her guns, which she does for the betterment of her family business.  The script is so-so and there are some bumpy moments but it all works out okay.

Secretly Santa – Alicia Dea Josipovic and Travis Nelson.  A backwards Cinderella meets Sleepless in Seattle in this kinda fun, kinda boring film.  Interesting – the two leads know each other in two lives, one where they like each other … a lot.  Not interesting – their work competition/bickering.  It works out the way you would think and has lots of hot chocolate scenes.

Sugar Plum Twist – Jamie Gray Hyder and Laura Rosguer.  Including the romantic stuff as a secondary storyline this is a very authentic tale of two Hispanic women in the dance world (mentor and mentee) working to find their true selves.  It is miles away from the so-called “diverse representation” quotas in other films and comes off as something highly watchable and something you invest in.  You want these women to succeed.  It’s different.  In a very good way.

A Castle for Christmas – Snaps for leads Brooke Shields and Cary Elwes, who are incredibly watchable, along with a terrific supporting cast.  There are great shots of Scotland and a cute dog.  There is also some odd scoring, occasionally weird editing and a thin plot which was so predictable that the arrival of the afternoon crows outside my window was more interesting than the inevitable romance.  That being said, Brooke and Cary … worth it.

The Enchanted Christmas Cake – Erica Durance and Robin Dunne.  To be honest I was more interested in the plot for this than the characters.  It’s a bakery mystery with a lost recipe.  Erica Durance is a favorite actor who unfortunately has fallen into the injectable fillers trap, making her face, like so many others, look weird.  That aside, she’s genuine.  Robin Dunne would be forgettable if not for the fact that he chose to play the role with a high degree of awkwardness, which comes off as interesting and charming.  The film is very flawed – inconsistencies in the script mean that the “missing ingredient” is mentioned in the opening as having been tried and dismissed.  The climax is convoluted and comes out of nowhere.  That aside, there is a little something here.  But not a lot.

‘Tis the Season to be Merry – Rachel Leigh Cook and Paul Essiembre.  She’s great, he’s “meh”.  So that kinda describes the film.  Some of it is terrific, some it is fairly low energy.  But the script is decent, and in the hands of the stronger actors, it works.

Match Made in Mistletoe – Natalie Lisinska and Damon Runyan.  This is about as middle of the road as you get.  No surprises, a lovely job by Ms. Lisinska, a cute kid and some sketchy acting here and there.  It’s as “okay” as it gets.

The Nine Kittens of Christmas – Kimberly Sustad’s character seems perpetually depressed (and a little mean).  But you have Brandon Routh, Gregory Harrison and nine kittens.  NINE.  I mean, do I need say more?

Coyote Creek Christmas – Janel Parrish and Ryan Paevy.  This one uses every tired old premise in the book (hard driving woman who is an event planner, a snow-covered country inn which is about to be sold, a gay friend, a cute kid) but is saved by Ms. Parrish, who brings energy and warmth to her role. 

Open by Christmas – This one works because of seasoned actors who made a kind of slow, predictable tale work.  Thanks to them, and a very unusual plotline, there is emotional payoff at the end.  And let’s hear it for making the relationship between two women friends, and their search for “self” just as important as the romance.

A Fiancé for Christmas – Amanda Payton and Adam Gregory.  I liked Ms. Payton’s character, from the beginning.  Her character has a real career and she is grounded.  And funny.  And she eats.  Some of the acting is awkward.  Some of the story is awkward.  And the ending is really really awkward.  But it kind of works.  For an hour and a half, anyway.

A Christmas Treasure – Jordin Sparks and Michael Xavier.  Low stakes leads to low energy but Ms. Sparks and her potential beau are beautifully grounded.  Unlike so many of these things, this story feels almost real.  And you get to hear Jordin Sparks sing, so …

You, Me & The Christmas Trees – Danica McKellar and Benjamin Ayres.  There are achingly bad actors in supporting roles who really distract but the story isn’t overly sweet and the two leads build their attraction slowly and believably. 

A Kiss Before Christmas – Teri Hatcher and James Denton.  The script is painfully stiff at times but Teri Hatcher and James Denton together again is worth watching.

My Christmas Family Tree – A strong cast and a not-primarily-romance-based plot make this one watchable but it’s a little on the sad side with a hugely predictable twist and a manufactured crisis for the climax. 

Under the Christmas Tree – Elise Bauman and Tattiawna Jones.  A paint by numbers plot would make this one a pass but a terrific supporting cast, including Enrico Colantoni and Ricki Lake give it enough oomph to watch.  The leads aren’t bad either.  

Blending Christmas – Hayley Duff and Aaron O’Connell.  It’s not great but there is a slight interest for Brady Bunch fans as it reunites most of the original cast of kids (who are now all AARP recipients).  It’s an homage, complete with iffy acting.  So, if you enjoyed the original show, enjoy.  If not, it’s a pass.

An Ice Wine Christmas – Delightful Roselyn Sanchez brings the smiles and energy with hottie Lyriq Bent bringing the steam.  Unfortunately these two don’t make this predictable cookie-cutter film interesting.  It might make you crave Ice Wine but not more story.

It Takes a Christmas Village – Brooke Nevin and Corey Sevier.  She’s great, he’s dour.  And he kind of whispers every line (he started his so-so film career as a model … not a surprise.)  But he has puppy-dog eyes.  So it kind of works now and then.  But it has a sad undertone.  Like so much these days.

A Royal Queens Christmas – Megan Park and Julian Morris.  It’s not bad but not particularly good.  Hugely derivative with accents that are all over the place the acting isn’t bad, the story incredibly predictable and the Prince’s major domo is often more interesting than the leads.  It’s like smashing together a host of films you have seen before.  Films you like but this is, well, nice to have on in the background.

Eight Gifts of Hanukkah – Inbar Lavi and Jake Epstein.  Despite the talents of the delightful Ms. Lavi and the switch-up from Christmas to Hanukkah, there isn’t anything new here.  It’s watchable but just barely.

Candy Cane Candidate – Jacky Lai and Jake Epstein.  He’s charming, and, given the plot, she’s a tone-deaf (w)itch.  The political plot doesn’t resonate in our current times and some of the supporting actors are painful in their inability to act.  But the leads have energy, which is something.  Not much.  But something.

Christmas CEO – Marisol Nichols and Paul Greene.  This one isn’t lousy but it barely made the cut.  The actors are fine and there is a cute kid but that’s about it.  The whole thing is “meh” … predictable and full of tropes typical to these kinds of movies.

Christmas Movie Magic – Holly Deveaux and Drew Seeley.  This one is so bad that it’s almost good.  Almost.  But not.  In an attempt to inject magical realism into these tired old plots there is a (movie) story within a story.  But the dialog and acting are so bad – stilted and off – that it’s hard to take anything very seriously.  (Honestly, a so-called journalist mispronounces “Pulitzer” in the first five minutes and the term “Happy Endings” is used a LOT … with no double-entres.)  Honestly, this one might make for a good drinking game, but that’s about it.

Nope

I could tell you what is wrong with each of these or I can just say one thing … “no”.

·       Nantucket Noel

·       Dancing Through the Snow

·       Making Spirits Bright

·       Christmas in Tahoe

·       Welcome to the Christmas Family Reunion

·       Say Yes to Christmas

·       A Christmas Together With You

·       Gingerbread Miracle

·       My Favorite Christmas Melody

·       The Christmas Thief

·       Boyfriends of Christmas Past

·       The Santa Stakeout

·       Maps and Mistletoe

·       Ghosts of Christmas Past

·       Toying with the Holidays

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