Peloton has an inappropriate series of commercials, Hallmark
released a whopping 35 holiday films and I can’t walk into a store without
Christmas Muzak playing. I watched
through a good number of the newer offerings on the aforementioned Hallmark
networks as well as on Lifetime, Netflix and Amazon Prime but I barely touched
on the ones from other networks. There
were so many holiday films (almost exclusively filmed in Canada) that some of
the same actors appeared in multiple movies.
Let’s face it, none of these are going to be It’s a
Wonderful Life or Miracle on 34th Street. They are primarily designed for one thing …
something to have on in the background to help get you in the mood while you
are madly cleaning and decorating. They
all have predictable plots with sometimes iffy writing and/or acting. They all have small towns and snow and a
sugary meet-cutes. There is enough hot
chocolate and gingerbread to put one into a diabetic coma and often a contest
of some sort. There is also a
manufactured crisis (usually involving some big evil corporate entity) which is
miraculously solved on Christmas Eve. Women
are almost universally convinced ditch their big city corporate dreams and move
back home.
Some of these are actually worth a couple of hours. Some are not.
This year the best ones for me were the ones with known, experienced
actors who managed to rise above the sugary sweetness to create a real moment
here and there.
Best of the Bunch
The Christmas House 2:
Deck Those Halls – I vaguely remember liking the first edition of
this story a year ago, but, like so many of these tales, it didn’t really stick
with me. I have to say though, I can’t
help but feel the latest installment is better than the first. It’s a stellar cast and since we are past the
“will they or won’t they” stage the tropes are left behind. Instead we have a chance to truly explore the
meaning of Christmas along with sibling rivalry, the challenges of parenthood
and the impossible choices that come with blended families. It’s good.
Really good.
A Very Merry Bridesmaid – Emily Osmet and Casey
Deidrick. At their worst, these films
feel forced and fake, as if they are just checking off items from a list of
plot developments. At their best, like
this one, they feel real and grounded and have at least one or two story twists
you may not see coming. Admittedly, I
like Emily Osmet, a lot, and Casey Deidrick ain’t bad either. The whole cast is pretty good. And yes, near the end I felt the slightest
hint of a tear. A real one, not one from
being emotionally played. Very
entertaining.
Crashing Through the Snow – This one abandons every
trope and focuses on the challenges which come with newly formed blended
families. It’s not tidy and it’s well
acted (Hello Amy Acker!). Brava, bravo.
Single All the Way – Michael Urie and Philemon Chambers. Just like any other Christmas movie this one
is tremendously watchable. It’s also
nuanced. The love interests aren’t
generally bad or good, just maybe one is better than another. The mom wants to support her gay son but
works so hard at it that she really doesn’t see him. The crazy aunt is perhaps a sad
alcoholic. The teen girls, addicted to
their phones, have some insight. It is
what you expect and not. And I like
that.
The Holiday Fix Up – Jana Kramer and Ryan
McPartlin. There is absolutely nothing
original about this film but good writing, acting, even editing make it highly
watchable. With an HGTV twist and a fair
amount of charm and chemistry, it works.
A Christmas Proposal – Jessica Camacho and Adam
Rodriguez. Pretty Woman allusions
aside (there are more than a few) this is grounded by really decent actors –
Ms. Camacho being a hugely watchable performer.
It suffers just a touch of The Sound of Music problem … Rodriguez
is so convincing as a jerk that you really have to take a moment to buy into
his transformation … but if you can make that leap it works. And is just lovely.
“Princess Switch” movies – Vanessa Hudgens (and Vanessa
Hudgens and Vanessa Hudgens). This isn’t
your typical holiday fare, more like a modernized Prince and the Pauper
set at Christmastime. They are light,
fun, enjoyable and don’t take themselves to seriously. Good popcorn movies.
A Dickens of a Holiday! – Brooke D’Orsay and
Kristoffer Polaha. Here’s the truth –
this is about a community theatre production and stars two actors I like a lot,
one of whom I’ve had a crush on for a long (long) time. So, I was always going to like it. But I beyond all of that I do think this film
has merit. It’s not cute. Not even a little. Grounded and layered the script draws
connections between Polaha’s superstar character and the isolation and
emptiness of Scrooge’s life. It’s smart
and I wasn’t even tempted to look away.
An Unexpected Christmas – Bethany Joy Lenz and Tyler
Hynes. This one is actually well-written
and plays just a little like some 1930s screwball comedy. The dialog feels real. Bethany Joy Lenz is well-named and just a
pleasure to watch. The family dynamics
are both delightful and a bit torturous.
Like a normal family. It works.
A Picture Perfect Holiday – Tatyana Ali and Henderson
Wade. Nothing particularly original here
but it has, dare I say it – charm? It’s
fun. The two leads do a great job
batting the lines around with a kind of perfect tone. It’s a playful tease with a lot more “I’m
interested” than “I don’t like you.” My
only complaint is that it plays back on the theme so many of these films have,
that hard-working women are inflexible and rigid and just need to get the
hottie and loosen up.
Reba McEntire’s Christmas in Tune – Reba McEntire and
John Schneider. ‘Nuff said.
Christmas Sail – Katee Sackoff and Patrick
Sabongui. Funny how you can have the
same elements in dozens of films and sometimes it works and sometimes it
doesn’t. Strong actors, a slightly better
script, a small twist here or there (this one takes place on a boat) and a
predictable film is just less sappy and more grounded. This one has all the strengths and few of the
weaknesses of films of this type (and Terry O’Quinn doesn’t hurt, either). There is sadness which seems pervasive in
this year’s batch of holiday films but here it doesn’t take away from the
hope. Enjoyable watch.
Next Stop, Christmas – Polar Express meets Sliding
Doors meets It’s a Wonderful Life in this clever holiday film. Maybe you know where it’s going, maybe you
don’t. I really liked that it is fresh
and Lyndsy Fonseca does a great job finding the balance between humor and going
just a tad insane. Terrific couple of hours.
Christmas at Castle Hart – Lacey Chabert and Stuart
Townsend. In a strange twist this film
is almost identical to the new Netflix film A Castle for Christmas. Both have great scenery of the actual
locations, a grumpy nobleman, a castle in financial straits. In both films our leads take bicycles to a
local castle and end up with a private tour.
Weird. And I swear, it’s not my
heritage that says this film is better.
It’s just faster paced, has bigger stakes, more laughs and more
energy. It’s not perfect. The age difference between the leads is
palpable. Ms. Chabert looks years
younger than her 39 and Mr. Townsend looks every bit his almost 50 years. And there is more than a little bad
digitizing attempting to turn Ireland’s green into a snowy landscape. That aside, it was very enjoyable. I also can’t help but think that there were a
few digs on the other film. Ms.
Chabert’s character makes asides about Scotland and knitting. Maybe coincidence. Maybe not.
The Bitch Who Stole Christmas – I truly don’t know
where to begin. Is it different? Oh my, yes.
Refreshingly so. Replete with
naughty names, double-entendres, massive send-ups of Christmas films and meet-cutes
this one left me smiling. I had expected
a longer version of some of the Drag Show skits. Instead there was a real story and actual
song and dance numbers, not to mention more than a few familiar faces. It’s rude, crude, doesn’t take itself at all
seriously and it’s a delightful change-up from the saccharin sop.
Decent
A Dance Reunion Christmas – Monique Coleman and
Corbin Bleu. This one would be a total
loss based on every trope in the book, but the energy and downright charm of
Ms. Coleman and Mr. Bleu allows it to exceed expectations (Kim Roberts as the
mother isn’t bad either). Unlike many of
these films the scoring is thoughtful and adds to the narrative. The dancing, and chemistry, is a delight.
The Christmas Contest – Candace Cameron Bure and John
Brotherton. Candace Cameron Bure is the
undisputed queen of the Hallmark Christmas films and John Brotherton is just
adorable. There is nothing particularly
original here but nothing cringeworthy.
I made for a nice hour and a half (if you speed through the commercials.)
Holiday in Santa Fe – Emeraude Toubia and Mario
Lopez. The least interesting part of
this film is the so-called romance which includes every cliché in the book and
a scary amount of Botox and filler on the face of Mr. Lopez. The real story is that of the sister. Aimee Garcia, fresh from Lucifer,
steals the show with a storyline about finding oneself amidst grief. She is energetic, joyful and very real. She feels like a sister. And the kid is cute, too. Yes, you can make a holiday film without
snow. Brava, Ms. Garcia.
Sister Swap: A
Hometown Holiday and Sister Swap:
Christmas in the City – Kimberly Williams-Paisley and Mark Deklin,
Ashley Willams and Keith D. Robinson.
Real-life sisters Kimberly and Ashley provide a nice grounding to these
paired films with few new twists.
Keeping with the theme of sadness in this year’s films there are some
losses but the grief resonates without saturating. The supporting cast, which includes the likes
of Kevin Nealon and Jim Byrnes in relatively small roles, is strong. In the first film the cute kid is partnered
with a teenager making the kid less sugary.
In the second film the gay couple saves the day. There is a little déjà vu as scenes between
the sisters are repeated in each film.
The first has better chemistry between leads, the second has a more
interesting storyline (IMHO). Feel free
to play it in the background while doing Christmas cards, as I did.
You Make It Feel Like Christmas – Mary Antonini and
Michael Xavier. Some uneven acting and a
touch of sadness don’t dampen a pretty good film which breaks up all the
suppositions you might have in watching a so-called “Christmas movie”. The story is fresh, the energy real. Relationships are muddy and people spend a
good deal of time thinking through things.
Really thinking through things, not just glancing at one another over a
hot chocolate. Brava, Bravo.
Baking Spirits Bright – Rekha Sharma and Dion
Johnstone. What I like about this … Ms.
Sharma’s character is smart. She is,
unfortunately, a little harsh but she’s not wrong in sticking to her guns,
which she does for the betterment of her family business. The script is so-so and there are some bumpy
moments but it all works out okay.
Secretly Santa – Alicia Dea Josipovic and Travis
Nelson. A backwards Cinderella
meets Sleepless in Seattle in this kinda fun, kinda boring film. Interesting – the two leads know each other
in two lives, one where they like each other … a lot. Not interesting – their work
competition/bickering. It works out the
way you would think and has lots of hot chocolate scenes.
Sugar Plum Twist – Jamie Gray Hyder and Laura
Rosguer. Including the romantic stuff as
a secondary storyline this is a very authentic tale of two Hispanic women in
the dance world (mentor and mentee) working to find their true selves. It is miles away from the so-called “diverse
representation” quotas in other films and comes off as something highly
watchable and something you invest in.
You want these women to succeed.
It’s different. In a very good
way.
A Castle for Christmas – Snaps for leads Brooke
Shields and Cary Elwes, who are incredibly watchable, along with a terrific supporting
cast. There are great shots of Scotland
and a cute dog. There is also some odd
scoring, occasionally weird editing and a thin plot which was so predictable
that the arrival of the afternoon crows outside my window was more interesting
than the inevitable romance. That being
said, Brooke and Cary … worth it.
The Enchanted Christmas Cake – Erica Durance and
Robin Dunne. To be honest I was more
interested in the plot for this than the characters. It’s a bakery mystery with a lost
recipe. Erica Durance is a favorite
actor who unfortunately has fallen into the injectable fillers trap, making her
face, like so many others, look weird.
That aside, she’s genuine. Robin
Dunne would be forgettable if not for the fact that he chose to play the role
with a high degree of awkwardness, which comes off as interesting and
charming. The film is very flawed –
inconsistencies in the script mean that the “missing ingredient” is mentioned
in the opening as having been tried and dismissed. The climax is convoluted and comes out of
nowhere. That aside, there is a little
something here. But not a lot.
‘Tis the Season to be Merry – Rachel Leigh Cook and
Paul Essiembre. She’s great, he’s “meh”. So that kinda describes the film. Some of it is terrific, some it is fairly low
energy. But the script is decent, and in
the hands of the stronger actors, it works.
Match Made in Mistletoe – Natalie Lisinska and Damon
Runyan. This is about as middle of the
road as you get. No surprises, a lovely
job by Ms. Lisinska, a cute kid and some sketchy acting here and there. It’s as “okay” as it gets.
The Nine Kittens of Christmas – Kimberly Sustad’s
character seems perpetually depressed (and a little mean). But you have Brandon Routh, Gregory Harrison
and nine kittens. NINE. I mean, do I need say more?
Coyote Creek Christmas – Janel Parrish and Ryan
Paevy. This one uses every tired old
premise in the book (hard driving woman who is an event planner, a snow-covered
country inn which is about to be sold, a gay friend, a cute kid) but is saved
by Ms. Parrish, who brings energy and warmth to her role.
Open by Christmas – This one works because of
seasoned actors who made a kind of slow, predictable tale work. Thanks to them, and a very unusual plotline,
there is emotional payoff at the end. And
let’s hear it for making the relationship between two women friends, and their
search for “self” just as important as the romance.
A Fiancé for Christmas – Amanda Payton and Adam
Gregory. I liked Ms. Payton’s character,
from the beginning. Her character has a
real career and she is grounded. And
funny. And she eats. Some of the acting is awkward. Some of the story is awkward. And the ending is really really awkward. But it kind of works. For an hour and a half, anyway.
A Christmas Treasure – Jordin Sparks and Michael
Xavier. Low stakes leads to low energy
but Ms. Sparks and her potential beau are beautifully grounded. Unlike so many of these things, this story
feels almost real. And you get to hear
Jordin Sparks sing, so …
You, Me & The Christmas Trees – Danica McKellar
and Benjamin Ayres. There are achingly
bad actors in supporting roles who really distract but the story isn’t overly
sweet and the two leads build their attraction slowly and believably.
A Kiss Before Christmas – Teri Hatcher and James
Denton. The script is painfully stiff at
times but Teri Hatcher and James Denton together again is worth watching.
My Christmas Family Tree – A strong cast and a
not-primarily-romance-based plot make this one watchable but it’s a little on
the sad side with a hugely predictable twist and a manufactured crisis for the
climax.
Under the Christmas Tree – Elise Bauman and Tattiawna
Jones. A paint by numbers plot would
make this one a pass but a terrific supporting cast, including Enrico Colantoni
and Ricki Lake give it enough oomph to watch.
The leads aren’t bad either.
Blending Christmas – Hayley Duff and Aaron
O’Connell. It’s not great but there is a
slight interest for Brady Bunch fans as it reunites most of the original cast
of kids (who are now all AARP recipients).
It’s an homage, complete with iffy acting. So, if you enjoyed the original show,
enjoy. If not, it’s a pass.
An Ice Wine Christmas – Delightful Roselyn Sanchez
brings the smiles and energy with hottie Lyriq Bent bringing the steam. Unfortunately these two don’t make this
predictable cookie-cutter film interesting.
It might make you crave Ice Wine but not more story.
It Takes a Christmas Village – Brooke Nevin and Corey
Sevier. She’s great, he’s dour. And he kind of whispers every line (he
started his so-so film career as a model … not a surprise.) But he has puppy-dog eyes. So it kind of works now and then. But it has a sad undertone. Like so much these days.
A Royal Queens Christmas – Megan Park and Julian
Morris. It’s not bad but not
particularly good. Hugely derivative
with accents that are all over the place the acting isn’t bad, the story
incredibly predictable and the Prince’s major domo is often more interesting
than the leads. It’s like smashing
together a host of films you have seen before.
Films you like but this is, well, nice to have on in the background.
Eight Gifts of Hanukkah – Inbar Lavi and Jake
Epstein. Despite the talents of the
delightful Ms. Lavi and the switch-up from Christmas to Hanukkah, there isn’t
anything new here. It’s watchable but
just barely.
Candy Cane Candidate – Jacky Lai and Jake
Epstein. He’s charming, and, given the
plot, she’s a tone-deaf (w)itch. The
political plot doesn’t resonate in our current times and some of the supporting
actors are painful in their inability to act.
But the leads have energy, which is something. Not much.
But something.
Christmas CEO – Marisol Nichols and Paul Greene. This one isn’t lousy but it barely made the
cut. The actors are fine and there is a
cute kid but that’s about it. The whole
thing is “meh” … predictable and full of tropes typical to these kinds of
movies.
Christmas Movie Magic – Holly Deveaux and Drew
Seeley. This one is so bad that it’s
almost good. Almost. But not.
In an attempt to inject magical realism into these tired old plots there
is a (movie) story within a story. But
the dialog and acting are so bad – stilted and off – that it’s hard to take
anything very seriously. (Honestly, a
so-called journalist mispronounces “Pulitzer” in the first five minutes and the
term “Happy Endings” is used a LOT … with no double-entres.) Honestly, this one might make for a good
drinking game, but that’s about it.
Nope
I could tell you what is wrong with each of these or I can
just say one thing … “no”.
·
Nantucket Noel
·
Dancing Through the Snow
·
Making Spirits Bright
·
Christmas in Tahoe
·
Welcome to the Christmas Family Reunion
·
Say Yes to Christmas
·
A Christmas Together With You
·
Gingerbread Miracle
·
My Favorite Christmas Melody
·
The Christmas Thief
·
Boyfriends of Christmas Past
·
The Santa Stakeout
·
Maps and Mistletoe
·
Ghosts of Christmas Past
·
Toying with the Holidays
