" A Hollywood Christmas"

Ending my annual review of holiday films with a winner.  "A Hollywood Christmas" is funny.  It's tongue-in-cheek.  It's meta.  It's a Christmas movie about a Christmas movie.  Maybe I like it because of inside baseball -- I spend a good bit of time on film sets and recognize the challenges in that environment.  But it is a quality production.  Leads Jessika Van and Josh Swickard are nicely grounded and the supporting cast ain't bad, either.  Elf-like Anissa Borrego's odd voice is an irritation at first but her narrator-like cuteness grows on you.  The ending is, of course, expected.  But the movie is still fresh and sweet (but not too sweet).  All-in-all, enjoyable without being perfect (you will get that if you watch it).  Makes my #1 of the new offerings this year.

"The Noel Diary"

Calling this a "Christmas movie" is a stretch.  It's about as far from the typical Hallmark fare as you could get.  It's not G rated, there is no "let's save the Christmas farm/hotel/store/tradition, etc."  There is no meet-cute or cute kid (although there is a cute dog).  There isn't a focus on a small town or any indication that true love can only be found by giving up on the big city.  Christmas is there, but plays in the background.  There is no cookie-baking contest, no hot chocolate sipping.  Justin Hartley returns to familiar territory.  Very familiar territory.  Tell me if any of this sounds familiar:  A good-looking, famous 37 year-old is a little tired of his fame and has a difficulty forming lasting relationships due, in part, to his daddy issues.  (And, although Justin can pull it off, 37 is way in his rear-view mirror).  A young Black woman, adopted by parents of different races, feels the need to find her birth mother to close a gap in her life.  The film is mostly a road trip, touched by pathos and longing.  Yeah, it's kind of "This Is Us:  The Holiday Edition".  It's good.  It's unexpected.  And it is packed with top-notch actors.  In addition to Mr. Hartley, with have triple-threat Barrett Doss ("Station 19"), James Remar and Bonnie Bedelia ('nuff said).  It's a quiet tale, one of people searching for belonging, for family (cue the kleenext ... this really is "This Is Us").  There isn't a single sickly-sweet moment, not a single two-dimensional portrayal.  There are, unfortunately, some script/production issues.  They are minor, but distracting.  It's little things.  When Hartley's character is in a remote cabin trying to make up with his dad, his lady-friend and dog are left out in the cold, literally.  They sit in a car during a snowstorm, for ... hours?  Later, the couple lands at a hotel in the middle of nowhere and has a romantic dinner.  Ms. Doss' hair is suddenly straightened and styled -- unlikely.  Hours later she is back to her natural curls.  It's just sloppy bits like this.  These kinds of details take a lovely story and make it look pedestrian.  It was a noble effort, and I appreciate something different, and something with just a touch of class.

"Holiday Harmony"

This is very country, which is not my thing.  But it got good reviews, so I gave it a shot.  And then I wondered what the reviewers were smoking.  Yes, young Annelise Cepero can sing.  Beautifully.  And waiting for the next song helps push it through.  There is some minor sparkage between the leads but the script is uneven.  It's plodding at one point, rushing through needed foundation in other sections.  The acting is ... strained.  The kids are great, of course.  And somehow Brooke Shields gets roped into the thing which gives it a bit of gravitas.  Well, a smidgen anyway.  Like so many other "Christmas fail" films of late, there is a lot of sadness here.  It's dour.  Loss, grief and a lack of snow make for a pretty bleak story.  I appreciate the effort to find new plot points but this ain't it, kids.  

"A Christmas Mystery"

This had real potential, I think, in concept.  You have the "Enola Holmes" films, which show that a perky young woman can solve mysteries.  The problem here is casting and tone.  At the least, it's muted and low energy.  At the most, it's dark, depressing and sad.  No one smiles.  There is no snow.  You are in for an hour before the young lead shows any real punch.  When a neighbor is accused of stealing the miraculous bells of a small town, our girl goes to town to prove his innocence.  She is faced, at almost every turn, with a sense of hopelessness felt by the adults around her.  Many of the actors speak in a kind of muted whisper.  There is an irritating moment when a main character mispronounces the name of a well-known river.  It picks up in the last half hour but is it worth the wait?  I would say no.

"Christmas With You"

Finally, a good one.  A decent script and more of the quiet, gentle moments which can make these things work.  Which is not to say there isn't cliche -- yes, there is an escape from New York which ends in a snowy small town and there is the inevitable montage of "gee, I fell in love" about ten minutes from the end.  But it works.  It's gentle.  And nice.  Charming, delightful, engaging Aimee Garcia pairs with grounded, sweet Freddie Prinze, Jr. for this warm, delightful holiday film.  It feels real(ish).  The supporting cast is far better than usual and the tamale baking scene alone will make you smile.  Worthwhile way to spend an hour and a half before the big day.

"Falling for Christmas"

From the beginning I was a bit cringy.  The movie literally opens with a woman getting a wake-up call at her hotel.  Excuse me, but who, in this day and age, uses a hotel desk service instead of a cellphone as an alarm?  Then there is the color scheme.  The spoiled uber rich wear glaring neon colors, the "townies" wear normal, found-in-nature colors.  Then came the slapstick.  Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend is an over-the-top idiot.  Everything is heavy-handed.  The "gentle magic" of a possible Santa is made obvious rather than hinted at.  The plot, a huge "Overboard" ripoff, is predictable.  Lindsay Lohan, with her unmoving plastic face, looks much older than her costars, Chord Overstreet and George Young, even though she isn't.  Please, please, if there is a God, stop these Hollywood women from using so many injectibles.  It's just too broad, not subtle, and didn't draw me in.  Oh well.

"A Christmas to Treasure"

Seriously "meh".  A bunch of 40 somethings play characters which should have been played by 20/30 somethings.  They haven't been home since graduation (they are talking about high school graduation) and some are still getting their careers started.  There is only one couple (who are oddly wrapped around each other in every scene) and no one has kids.  Their parents are played by actors only a dozen or so years older than them.  The opening is confusing, the script is weak.  Characters refer to San Francisco as "San Fran" (No.  Just no.).  And there is a blonde character named Tipper.  'Nuff said.  In an attempt to find something fresh, Lifetime goes with a "Big Chill" meets "Christmas Movie" meets "Locke and Key" with a dash of "Harold and Maude."  It could have been interesting.  It's not.  Mostly, it feels like something dreamed up by a person on Xanax.  I literally fell asleep while I watched it.

"Beauty and the Beast: A 30th Celebration"

This is a clever retelling of the classic tale, which mixes production information with clips of the original film and live action.  The blend is delightful and engaging.  A live audience helps build the energy and the choreography is outstanding -- mixing traditional big Disney musical-style dancing with some new and innovative pieces.  There is "hand-dancing" in the opening segment and innovative modern dance to represent the fading rose.  Casting choices show that Disney is "all in" on inclusive casting ... every kind of inclusivity.  Race, ethnicity, body size, you name it.  It works beautifully.  Rita Moreno's dulcet tones, as narrator, are a welcome thread holding it all together.  My very minor complaint comes with H.E.R. and Shania Twain.  Both have the vocal chops and H.E.R. has some real skill in acting.  But neither woman is used to singing in this style.  Both tend to "croon" -- sliding into and out of notes.  It was a distraction.  This kind of music needs super-clear consonants and the notes need to be attacked directly and cleanly.  See the work of Josh Groban and Joshua Henry as the Beast and Gaston, respectively.  You could cut glass with their specificity while singing.  It's a style issue, not a lack of skill per se.  In any case the production was incredibly entertaining.  More so than many of the holiday films.  Worth the watch.  (PS, as a giggle, I found it ... interesting ... that they referenced the Broadway show but not the live action remake.  Just sayin'.)

"Diary of a Future President"

On one hand, it's kind of adorable.  Young Tess Romero hits the perfect notes as a tween caught between childhood and the more complicated world of adults.  She's engaging and real.  It's also great to see Selena Leyva ("Orange is the New Black") back and fabulous, as always.  The show explores a lot of difficult transitions, including a gentle tale of a boy coming into his own and a widowed mother trying to figure out how the new man in her life can fit into her family.  The struggle is nuanced and treated with respect.  There are clever ties between our current political climate and the possible early steps of a young future President.  The failures of the series, which are minor, come from the "Disney-fying".  It borders on the saccharine.  Problems are miraculously solved in 22 minutes.  It's never clear why the mother's assistant is also her best friend.  The show had a lot of potential and lived too short a life but it rose above the expected in the quiet moments.  Brava.

"Must Love Christmas"

CBS has waded into the Christmas programming wars with specials and a number of films.  Unlike last year I'm being fairly circumspect about how many of these things I'm going to spend time on.  This one was very middle-of-the-road.  It's good.  Good enough that it kept me from scrolling my email while I watched.  But it's not "fabulous".  Like so (so so so) many of these things, supporting actors are sometimes weak and the whole thing feels rushed -- low production values, tired actors pushing through.  All that being said, I'm a fan of Liza Lapira and she doesn't disappoint.  Neither does her co-star Neal Bledsoe.  There is also fresh face Ian Collins, who does a lot with a little.  The story is sorta/kinda fresh, which I appreciate.  A small town does feature and there are no unexpected plotlines, but the big city isn't the enemy and the twists you see coming are enjoyable.  When Ms. Lapira's character says, near the end, "I can't believe I didn't see it," there is a small groan.  We all saw it, honey.  But it's not bad.  It didn't feel like a waste of two hours.  And that's the best I can say.

"Reindeer in Here"

CBS is going all out on Christmas this year.  They have Hallmark-worthy movies (complete with identical and forgettable plots) and new specials which include this hour-long animated story.  It's cute.  It's entertaining.  But it's not, as they say, "a new classic."  There is nothing objectionable here.  There is also not a lot which is memorable.  Offbeat characters let you know that "different is just fine" and help save the day.  The bad guy isn't all that bad, just misguided, and there are more than a few shout-outs to "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."  Viewers over a certain age will note the very subtle jabs at a certain mega-shipping company, whose name rhymes with "lamazon."  The animation is okay but not great.  Lead character Blizz has a face which has that weird flatness of the balloons at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.  The characters are all smooth looking, with little to no texture.  It's like a metaphor saying "we are here but a tad two-dimensional."  It's okay.  It's just not ... charming.  And that's interesting.  You look at all the Christmas classics and they have a certain amount of childlike delight.  And they are all older.  The Rankin-Bass classics?  1960s.  "Miracle on 34th Street", 1947.  "It's a Wonderful Life", 1945.  The best versions of "A Christmas Carol" -- mostly all before 1970.  It's like we've lost our ability to find pure joy, to create simple tales which touch the heart.  And maybe there is a reason for that.  Which I'll skip for now and just say that we live in complex times.  For me, it's back to my DVDs -- Grinch and Drummer Boy, you are up next.

"A Christmas Princess"

I've seen a lot of mediocre holiday films.  This might be the absolute worst.  And that's saying a lot.  The predictable plot meanders and wanders around, with little point or purpose.  The dialog is wooden, the acting is a complete contrast to anything energized.  Performances, in addition to being lethargic, are so unconvincing it's hard to believe anyone is buying into their characters.  The accents (mostly super-fake British, a bad french and some mish-mashy generic European) are horrendous.  Somehow, real actors Erin Gray and Gaylin Gorg got roped into this very slow, very dull trainwreck.  Every trope is explored, including the belief that real Christmas can't be celebrated in a city setting and a Prince must marry a blonde, model-looking mean-girl Duchess.  By the time the Prince realizes his true love is the caterer (in a badly scored music montage, 13 minutes before the film ends), one doesn't care.  The Queen's meaness to the young woman of interest dissolves away when she takes a bite of the caterer's food.  An instant later, the young woman has mysteriously changed from her caterer garb to a fashionable dress with a huge diamond necklace.  It's as unbelievable as every other moment.  This isn't a film to put on while cleaning the house, it's a film to forget.

"Harry and Meghan"

As usual, I am on the opposite side of popular opinion.  Reviewers on both sides of the pond have universally panned this Netflix miniseries about the former royals (or, former royal and his wife).  I like Meghan.  I liked her a long time before her union with the adorable British lad.  She is a self-actualized, confident, outspoken woman.  So, since I don't see her as the devil incarnate or a bully (two of the most-used epithets used against her), maybe I was able to watch this tale with a little less vitriol than most of those decrying it.  I do find the current press attacks as unfair as everything else they have published about Meghan.  The the press says that she and Harry "talked out of school" in the Oprah interview, insulting the royal family, and now they say this series is rubbish because it doesn't reveal enough of the inside drama.  Pick a side, people!  In any case, what Harry asks for, in the opening moments, is the chance to be seen as the people they are.  Real people, human beings, who can be surprisingly normal.  Who just want what everyone wants -- family, security, love.  Given that plea I tried to watch this series as if these were not the people we all think they are.  I tried to watch and just see two individuals.  Given that bar of measurement, the series isn't bad.  It shows pieces of their childhood, helping to round out the idea that they aren't two-dimensional figures but that they are whole entities.  This is successful, particularly in filling out Harry's understandable hatred of the paparazzi.  The look in his eyes as he talks about facing cameras in every part of his life is a visceral experience.  The show fails, if it fails at all, on the following point: it's difficult, in an age of fiscal belt-tightening, to listen to any really rich person complain about any part of their privileged life.  The production is also slick.  Perhaps too slick.  Many have wondered if it isn't an attempt to gloss over things by having the conversation cherry-picked.  On that note, I'm willing to give the couple a pass.  Plenty of negative things have been said about them.  Too much, in fact.  Letting them punch back by showing the other side of the coin is their right.  There are also awkward moments, the most notable being Meghan's discussion of her own race -- stating that she was never treated like a black woman until she was involved with Harry.  In any case, I've always seen this whole thing as a love story.  And on that point, the series succeeds.  In any case, most viewers will come to it with their opinions pre-formed.  It's not about changing minds as much as it is about letting them say their piece.  And I don't mind hearing it.  

"Derry Girls"

Honest-to-goodness, it's been decades since I've laughed this hard while watching a comedy.   In the short few days it took to binge this series, I guffawed until I was hoarse.  Maybe because it's because I'm kinda Irish?  In any case, a roared.  I laughed until I cried.  I laughed until I almost peed my pants.  Basic plot:  Four girls and one guy living in occupied Derry (1990s) are true terrors.  They have constant schemes which go about as badly as they can.  The parents of the teens, who have their own hysterical situations, aren't much help.  Add in a everyone's least favorite uncle, a nun with a bad attitude and a terrific 90s playlist and this show pretty much has it all.  Including layers.  The show may be (very) broad comedy but it is also subversive.  "The Troubles" plays out in the background throughout every episode.  It's an aside.  But it's not.  It's baked into the lives these people have, and is a foundation for the uproar and rebellion.  The show is freakin' brilliant and, had it not be for Covid interruptus, it would have been a huge award winner.  Every character is not only unique but indelible.  Quite frankly, it's far funnier than any of the so-called comedies which are Emmy darlings.  I'm still reflecting back on it a week after finishing all 19 episodes.  And oddly find myself talking with an Irish accent.  Watch it.  Slainte!

"Disenchanted"

Let's face it, the original "Enchanted" was not a perfect film.  It had terrific moments -- mostly that amazing dance number in Central Park -- but Patrick Dempsey and Amy Adams had zero chemistry.  And the ending was ... stupid.  In my humble opinion.  But it was sweet and fun and a movie which wasn't too taxing.  So here we are fifteen years later, with a sequel.  Like the original there are good moments and the whole thing was a decent way to spend two hours.  But it's what I call a "cotton candy" film.  It is watchable but quickly after viewing it just fades away into nothing.  And it's smaller, somehow, than the original.  It feels more like a TV movie than something one would put on a big screen.  Amy Adams is, as in the first film, the one to watch.  Her singing, which was tenous in the first film, is strong and confident here (and Patrick Dempsey still can't sing but gets a quick Rex Harrison/"My Fair Lady" moment, speaking his way through a verse of one song).  Ms. Adams also makes her transitions from sweet heroine to evil villian with a smoothness which is impressive.  And the chipmunk is cute.  The chipmunk is always cute.  The supporting cast ranges from the brilliance of newcomer Gabriella Baldacchino taking over the role of Morgan, to an surprisingly subdued performance by Maya Rudolph.  Ms. Rudolph's been working a lot lately, and I have to say she has been better in everything else I've seen her in than she is here.  Her character's minions are more entertaining and interesting than Rudolph's evil queen character.  There are more songs in this film than in the first one but the volume of musical numbers does not make for better.  Unlike "That's How You Know ..." there is no breakaway hit.  There are two decent pieces, one being young Morgan's "Beauty and the Beast" ripoff and the other is a duet between the two evil queens, "Badder".  (Yes, there are a ton of Disney classics easter eggs here).  Weirdly, diva Idina Menzel sings hardly a memorable note in the whole thing.  There are also strange paradoxes.  Disney tries to recognize how feminism has impacted the world by having the evil queen ask her mirror who is the most powerful of all, rather than who is the prettiest of them all.  That being said, there is concerted effort to make the female actors look liked they have hardly aged in 15 years but no effort to hide the men's aging (and both Dempsey and James Marsden, who plays Edward, are in desperate need of a shave).  Giselle's clothing company, shown at the end of the first film, isn't mentioned.  She has returned to being a Samantha-level house-frau, who worries about burning toast or fitting in with the committee moms at the local school.  So much for feminism.  All of these criticisms are picayune.  This isn't meant to be a classic.  It's meant to entertain.  And it does.  Play it in the background while wrapping packages.

"Lopez vs. Lopez"

It's just ... bad.  Full of tired tropes and forced sitcom laughter, none of the characters are dimensional and poor Mayan Lopez (George's daughter) is stretched to her acting limits.  It's cheesy and pointless and I barely made it through one episode before I bailed.  There is a reason NBC premiered this on Friday night.  It's the night shows go to die.